Being Myself
Divya
Dubai, UAE
November’19
Hari Aum!
Prostrations at the Lotus feet of Guru Maa.
I always consider myself very fortunate and blessed, each time I visit SISS. Any opportunity I get to be with Maaji, I want to drop everything and rush to Her. This time, I would like to not only write about the Scriptural studies we had done but also share some of the experiences gained during the visit.
As I enter the gates of SISS, I become detached to the world. I no more have to struggle to play the role I have to play in the world outside and can be my true self. I can strip down to who I primarily am, without feeling vulnerable and being judged. It is blissful. As the saying goes; home is where the heart is, and this is home for us all.
Add to it the greenery, which is something that I always like. I love to spend time with plants and talking to them. It's a fun past time for me to interact and observe their gradual reactions. There were about 48 plants of fruit, and I went around the garden to help label each of them, which made me feel all the more connected with them. They give out so much warmth and positivity that you immediately feel at peace.
Reaching SISS two days before the retreat, allowed me to be engaged in the daily chores, and these little things made me realize how satisfying it is to carry out work peacefully and without any diversions.
The day of the Maha Abhishekam is the only time one gets the privilege of entering the Garbagraha. It was a humbling experience to have had the opportunity to help the Panditjis do the Alankar of Sree Ishwara. I was totally at bliss at that moment and could feel His presence there. I always do whenever I am at the temple, but this experience is something I cannot express in words. Adhering to Maaji's advice helped me remain constantly aware of what I was doing, which made me connect with the divine so strongly.
Coming to the retreat itself, this time the topic was Sri Dakshinamurty Stotram. As usual, we all were excited and eagerly waiting to start on this text. Sri Adi Shankaracharya had so beautifully praised Lord Shiva's Gurutatva; personifying the Adiguru as the Supreme and ultimate awareness. The poetic hymns, at the same time, teach us the highest Knowledge, which Maaji in the most simplistic possible way taught us.
Maaji took us through a visual treat when explaining Lord Shiva's incarnation as Sree Dakshinamurty, giving us insight on His appearance and the significance of it along with the symbolism. It was so mesmerizing that it made me feel His presence as though He was sitting right in front of me.
The first Dhyanashloka itself was so striking. It enlightens us about the importance of silence and how the silence of the Gurus speak so loud to us. This line struck me so hard, and when I started contemplating and reflecting on it, I got a deeper understanding of the meaning. I understood this when I had been sitting in the garden on the new benches that were laid out. When I found the time, I go and sit there by myself each day and recall each little thing I learnt.
Silence gives me the time and space to think clearly and connect, without any disturbance and focus on going deeper into unveiling what we otherwise can't see. That is why we need to practice internalizing our thoughts with the help of Scriptures. It is similar to the pollution we experience outside. It does not allow us to dive into one task entirely and instead, lets thoughts loose like a barrel of screeching monkeys. We need to learn how to control this and connect with our Self through the process of Shraddha and Nishta. This is possible only when we have faith in Guru because then we also have faith in our Self.
It is so essential for one to practice withdrawing from the world, through meditation. One needs to pay attention to one's mind and be conscious of the Purusha and not to get entangled by the sway of Maya.
Like the metaphor goes; we are all in a boat to cross the vast ocean of this life and with Maaji as our ferryman helps us get to the other side and reach our destination, without letting us get lost in the depths.
To conclude, I want to say thank you to Manishji for guiding me and answering all of my doubts and queries and doing whatever he could, for us to be able to attend such retreats each time so smoothly.
On a lighter note, I cannot end this without mentioning our dearest, Pablo. Yet, of late, he has been showing a lot of attitude towards me when I try to show him some love and comes to me only when he wants to.
Last but not least, thanks to all the fellow Satyavratis for making me feel so loved and the excellent staff who render their sincere service always.
I am eagerly waiting to come back home to you all.
Kind Regards
Divya